


Journal, The

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-07-31
Updated: 1998-07-31
Packaged: 2018-11-21 01:00:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11346720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Krycek is captured and Mulder gets his hands on Alex's private and intimate diary.





	Journal, The

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

The Journal by The Defender of the Rat

Note from Squidgie: I didn't write this, a friend of mine  
did. I'm submitting it to the MKRA for her. If you have  
feedback on the story you'd like to get to The Defender  
of the Rat, send it to me at and I will  
get it to her. Thanks!

Warning: This is NC-17 material which depicts graphic sexual situations between consenting persons of the same gender. If this offends you or if you are under 18, there's the door. Please, use it.  
Disclaimers:  
1) All characters belong to Chris Carter and the gang at 1013. This story is purely for enjoyment and I will make no profit from it. Bringing suit against me would be pointless and counterproductive because you make more money now than I ever will.  
2) I won't mind having this archived in other places as long as you ask first and leave all my disclaimers and acknowledgments intact.  
3) This is my first piece of fanfic and slash. I'd love feedback, but go easy on me. Send comments to Marita and she will forward to me.  
Acknowledgments:  
Thanks so much to Walter, Carolyn, and the Doc for your suggestions and support. You're the best!

*************************************************************  
For the purposes of this story, the amputation scene in Terma   
never happened. Everything else is as it should be.   
*************************************************************

* * *

The Journal  
By The Defender of the Rat

He could tell this wasn't going to be good news. Fox Mulder knew his partner well enough by now to see that the look on her face was anything but happy. "What's wrong?" he asked. "I was just given the hard copy of one of the files that's been successfully decrypted from the laptop we recovered," Scully said, looking like she had difficult news to impart. "And that's a bad thing?" he asked incredulously. "Which files have they been able to break?" She looked at him thoughtfully before she answered, wondering how on earth he was going to take what was in those files. "Well, so far we've only been able to decipher a list of information brokers with whom he was dealing sporadically, a `little black book' with the phone numbers and sexual preferences of his lovers, and a . . ." (her eyes narrowed uncomfortably), "personal journal."

The young nursing student was taking her time with this one. She was supposed to be practicing her IV starting skills today, but she had pissed off her instructor by showing up late for class, and had been relegated to bed-bath duty. "Wonderful," she had thought, "I get to hose down all the vegetables on the produce aisle." She had done three comatose patients this morning before coming into this room. What a shock. This was not a man; this was a young god. When she pulled the sheets back and removed his hospital gown, she thought, "Hmm, looks like this assignment isn't going to be as bad as I'd thought." Her patient was long, lean and dark, with black, shiny hair and incredibly long lashes. His body, too, was a joy to behold. It could have been carved from marble; it was so hard. . . and that perfect cock. The man was enormous. The only detractor to his appearance was the pair of handcuffs securing his left wrist to the side rail. In fact, her attention was so focused on his manly attributes that she failed to notice he was now awake and staring up at her. It wasn't until he croaked out the word, "Hey," that she was even aware he was back in the land of the living. She almost jumped out of her skin at the realization that her patient was moving now, albeit very weakly. She told him she was going for the doctor, threw the covers back over him, and took off down the hall to the nurses' station. 

He hadn't missed the narrowing of those big blue eyes. "So what's wrong with the personal journal, Scully? Does he refer to my father's murder? Is that what's causing you to look so uncomfortable?" She supposed she couldn't delay the inevitable. "No, Mulder, I think you should read this yourself. I'm honestly at a loss for words on this one. You read, and I'll be here if you want to talk." She sat down across from the desk and began to look over some other paperwork while he picked up the folder she had lain on his desk.

Scully's head jerked up at the sound of her partner violently coughing and sputtering. Apparently, he had chosen an inauspicious moment to take a drink of coffee. "You really should have warned me about this," he choked out, "I can't believe what I'm reading. Alex Krycek has the hots for me? This can't be for real, Scully." She nodded slowly, "Well, it looks on the up-and-up, as far as anything is that concerns him, at least." She gave him a sly grin, "Maybe this knowledge will help you interrogate him if and when he recovers from the coma." She gave a little chuckle at her own humor, and he threw her a nasty look. He didn't even want to think about how much that thought excited him. He continued to read.

Krycek's journal entries started after he had gotten his assignment to shadow Fox Mulder. Apparently, he had been immediately attracted to the senior agent. Krycek wrote that he had been bisexual since high school, but had always tended to prefer men. The power of Mulder's personal magnetism had been unexpected, and Krycek had fallen head over heels. It was equally obvious from the journal entries that the younger man had had no idea Mulder had felt similar stirrings of his own. The agent almost choked again when he got to one entry dated August 7, 1994. Krycek described in vivid detail the experience of finding his partner in the FBI pool. As Mulder read Krycek's own words about the erotic excitement of seeing him standing there, soaking wet, semi-nude, he felt an erection start to press against the fabric of his cotton boxers. He closed his eyes to try and stave off the feelings, but he couldn't get that scene at the pool out of his mind. Now that he knew Krycek's hormones had been raging, and his cock had been almost too hard to allow him to maintain his composure, Mulder didn't think he'd ever be able to remember that day without getting a hard-on again. "Thank God," he thought, when he realized that Scully was occupied with her reading and didn't see the expression on his face.

The phone startled them both. Scully got to it first. "Scully," she paused, listening, "yes, thank you. We'll be right there. Please tell the guard stationed outside his door to stay in the room and watch him closely. Now that he's awake, we can't take any chances." She hung up and turned to Mulder, "Krycek's out of the coma. Let's go talk to him now." Given his reaction to what he had read, Mulder wasn't quite sure he was ready for a face-to-face just yet. "Listen, Scully, do you mind if I sit this one out? I want to get into his head a little more before I try to question him. If this really is his journal, and I believe it is, then it could provide me with some necessary insight that would help me get the information we need." He hoped that sounded convincing enough. Scully nodded her acquiescence, thinking it seemed logical enough, but surprised to find logic in Mulder's thinking where Krycek was concerned. She'd fully expected to have to restrain him from beating the hell out of the injured man. She left him in the office reading silently.

The more Mulder read, the more he realized he had a major problem. He had felt minimally attracted to men before, but had dismissed those feelings without ever acting on them. He knew, even if Krycek didn't, that he had wanted the young agent in a way that had made him uncomfortable. Even after all his ex-partner had done to hurt him, he still felt the longing whenever he saw him. That's one of the reasons he felt the need to be so violent every time they interacted. He couldn't give in to the sexual desires he felt, so he had overcompensated with combative aggression instead. It was sophomoric, he knew, but he was helpless against it. Now, knowing that this object of his desire/hate wanted him with equal--if not greater--ferocity, he was almost going mad with longing. He couldn't deny it; there was no point. He wanted Alex Krycek like he had never wanted anyone in his life. He also knew that he was willing to throw caution, and the FBI professional conduct manual, to the wind to get him. He just had no idea how to work it out. 

The tall, lanky man in jeans, tee-shirt, and leather jacket strode down the hospital corridor quietly and with a sense of purpose. Fox Mulder knew what he had to do. He had finished reading Alex's journal and had learned a few interesting things, not the least of which was that Krycek had participated in Scully's abduction and subsequent attempted murder for purely personal reasons. He was jealous beyond all reason of her close relationship with Mulder. If Mulder had known that earlier, he would have told Scully to hold off on questioning Alex. She hadn't gotten anywhere with her interrogation, and now Mulder knew why. Krycek viewed her as a rival. Mulder smiled to himself when he realized Scully must not have read that far when she perused the journal. He was happy that she hadn't mentioned the find to Krycek. Mulder wanted the element of surprise on his side when he told Alex he knew about the journal's contents. He wanted to savor the look on the younger man's beautiful face. There were "other things he wanted to savor tonight as well," he thought as he smiled wolfishly.

"Hello, Alex," Mulder said softly, as he leaned over Krycek's sleeping form. Krycek's eyes snapped open at the sound of that, oh-so-familiar voice. He saw Mulder's face only inches from his own and felt the man's breath on his face like a soft caress. He felt a stirring in his groin and wished for the millionth time that things had gone differently between himself and this man. Mulder saw the look in his former partner's eyes and swallowed hard. He had thought he would have the upper hand here, but his physical response to the other man was overwhelming him. He wasn't entirely certain he could pull this off. He just knew he wanted desperately to try. He raised himself up to his full height to get away from those eyes and the naked desire he had seen within. 

Krycek finally regained some semblance of rational thought after Mulder stood up. This man was still the sexiest thing he had ever seen. "So, Mulder, you gonna beat me up again? At least I'm already in a hospital this time," he said, wondering if he was pushing his luck. The physical abuse he had taken from this man in the past had been excruciatingly painful, but he was willing to endure whatever he had to in order to be close to him. He was like a neglected child who misbehaved to get his parents' attention. Even if it got him a spanking, he still had to do it. Any attention was better than none at all. He longed for the days at the beginning of their partnership, when Mulder would gently place a hand on his arm or shoulder. Those touches had been electric. His erection was growing now, and he looked down at his crotch to make sure it wasn't showing through the sheet and blanket that covered him. It wasn't, but it wouldn't be long. He sat up in the bed and laid his free hand in his lap to cover the evidence of his attraction to the other man in the room. It wouldn't do for Mulder to know how he felt. He didn't want his feelings laid bare like that, subject to mocking by the man he wanted so badly.

Mulder walked toward the window, ignoring Alex's question and affording Alex a full view of his body. The younger man didn't hesitate to take it in. He loved to look at that long, tall body, with the dark, soft hair. Mulder had great hair. . . and a really great ass. Krycek's attention was riveted to that ass right now because Mulder was facing the window. He was wearing nice, tight jeans, and Alex was in heaven, staring at his backside, licking his lips and fantasizing about being tucked inside that round, tight little bottom. Mulder had turned his head and was looking over his shoulder at the mesmerized Krycek. That look of pure naked passion brought a knowing smile to his face. Suddenly, Alex looked up and realized that he'd been caught mid-reverie. He didn't know how he was going to explain himself, but he was glad his hand was covering his crotch.

"We decoded some of the files on your laptop, Alex," he said quietly, hoping to draw this out as long as possible to have the maximum effect when he finally mentioned the journal. "Oh yeah," Krycek responded, happy the other man didn't want to discuss the way he'd been looking at his backside. Mulder was facing him now as he continued, "We found listings of business associates and romantic liaisons." "Oh shit," Krycek thought, "if he's seen the `little black book' he knows I'm into guys." He sighed heavily . . . "Oh well, nothing to do about that now." "We also found a diary of sorts," he looked pointedly at Krycek, who appeared to be dying inside. "That was some interesting reading. I simply couldn't put it down. Read it cover to cover, so to speak, in one sitting." Krycek had colored deeply at the mention of the journal and right now he thought it was a distinct possibility that he would die from sheer embarrassment alone. Mulder chuckled as he said, "Krycek, you okay? You look like you're having trouble breathing." He smiled wickedly at the man in the bed. 

Alex Krycek had never felt so humiliated in all his life. He had always been so cocky about being able to seduce anyone he wanted. He knew he was beautiful, and he had used that to get as much sex as he wanted from whomever he liked. This was one man he knew he could never have and wanted more than anyone else in his life. It was completely futile, but he had been able to handle it as long as Mulder didn't know how he felt. Why had he kept that stupid journal? He hated himself for indulging in his own cathartic need to record his deepest emotions. All he wanted right now was to curl up in a ball and cry like a child. At that moment, he realized, to his shame, that he was crying. A few tears had come unbidden to his eyes and were now rolling down his cheeks. 

"Krycek?" Mulder asked incredulously. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, and it moved him beyond his own understanding. "Krycek, are you okay? Look at me." This time the voice was sincere, but Alex couldn't bring himself to meet Mulder's eyes. Mulder moved over to the bed when the younger man failed to obey his request. "All right, Alex," he said tenderly, "if you won't look at me, then feel me." He took the hand Krycek had been using to hide his erection, and placed it over his own stiff, swollen penis. Alex felt the hardness of him and looked up at Mulder with tear-stained eyes and a disbelieving expression. The older man bent down and kissed him gently on the lips. Then he started lightly licking the tears off Alex's soft cheeks. Alex closed his eyes and whimpered while his free hand had started massaging Mulder's erection through the jeans. Oh, he wanted in those pants. 

"Alex," Mulder's voice, a little huskier than usual, half-whispered in his ear, "I need to get you out of here. I don't know if I'll ever trust you, and this is the craziest thing I could possibly do, but I . . . need to do this. God help me, I have to do it." Alex's heart ached for this man. "Fox, first unlock me and come into the bathroom. I don't think either one of us can wait long enough to go somewhere appropriate to the situation," he said, breathing so hard he thought he would start hyperventilating at any moment. Knowing Mulder wanted him like this was almost more than he could handle. Mulder unlocked the cuffs, and Krycek's first action with his free hand was to caress the face of the man who had released him. "Come with me," he said, rising from the bed and walking toward the bathroom. He let the hospital gown fall to the floor and faced Mulder after they had entered the little room and shut the door. Mulder let out a little gasp when he saw Alex's cock. He was huge. When Krycek saw his face, he closed the distance between himself and Mulder with two steps, slid his arms around the other man and said, with his face only a couple of inches from Mulder's, "See anything you like?" He grinned impishly as Mulder blushed. Then Krycek whispered, "Let me look at you, please." 

Mulder gladly complied with the request. Krycek looked on hungrily as his soon-to-be lover stripped. His body was so perfect, just like he had remembered from that day at the pool. He had fantasized about alternate endings to that meeting often enough. Now he was going to live the fantasy. If he could just have his fill of this man, he could die happy (and with all the people who wanted him dead, he'd probably be that way soon, anyway). 

Mulder was standing naked before him now, his beautiful cock standing at attention and his face looking like a lamb to the slaughter. Suddenly, he wasn't so sure he'd made the right decision. He had never done this before, and Krycek could seriously take advantage if he wanted. "Oh, God," he thought, "what have I gotten myself into?" Alex, sensing his feelings, reached down and took both of Mulder's hands in his and pulled him closer until their bodies were touching. "I swear to God, I won't hurt you, Fox," he punctuated the statement with a tender, exploring kiss. "I'd die before I'd do anything that would make you sorry you did this with me." He kissed his reticent partner again, much more deeply this time. He let his tongue try to convince Mulder of his sincerity, gently roaming over his teeth and throughout his mouth. Mulder was responding to that, kissing him back in earnest, and soon their tongues were sparring with each other until the two men had to come up for air. Panting, they started nipping at each other's lips and necks, little groans of pleasure escaping their throats. 

Krycek was the first to break the embrace, sliding down to his knees while running his tongue down Mulder's chest and abdomen along the way. He paused momentarily to suck his lover's sensitive nipples, eliciting a moan of delight. Then, he settled on his next project, Mulder's beautiful cock. As he took it in his mouth, he heard a gasp and felt his lover's hip thrust forward involuntarily. He closed his eyes and began sucking hungrily. Normally, he would have preferred to take his time and drive his partner wild with teasing, but they had to hurry. He'd have to show Mulder what he could really do with that mouth later. 

Mulder didn't know what he was missing; he only knew that he had never felt anything quite as exciting as Alex Krycek's hot, wet mouth engulfing him, pulling on his rigid, aching cock. When he felt Krycek's fingers gently begin fondling his balls, he thought he would explode; and then he did just that, right down Alex's throat. "Oh, God, Alex!" he all but sobbed when he came, shuddering. Alex continued sucking diligently. He was intent on prolonging Mulder's orgasm for as long as possible. "That was hardly my best work," Krycek responded with a sly grin, "but you can consider it a preview." 

The older man looked down at Krycek's flaccid cock and then at the cum spilled on the bathroom floor and said, apologetically, "I had wanted to do something for you, too." Alex put a hand up to the agent's face and caressed it lovingly. "You will," he said huskily. "Now, how were you going to get me out of here, so we can have some time alone?" Mulder grinned and replied, "Well, if I can find my cell phone . . . ."

He had found his cell phone, and after he and his charge had dressed, placed a call to the nurses' station posing as a superior officer of the guard outside Krycek's door. It was a ridiculously old ploy, but it had worked. The guard responded by going to the phone at the station and abandoning his post. He was surprised to find no one on the phone when he got there, but he was even more shocked at finding no one in the room when he got back.

Mulder had taken Alex to a little motel in Virginia. He figured his apartment would be stupid since he was the last person seen with the prisoner prior to his escape. He knew he wasn't in any danger from this man. In reading Alex's journal, he had discovered that the young man hadn't murdered his father, but had been attempting to warn Bill Mulder about his impending assassination. Alex had always tried to protect Mulder and had written several times about his deep and abiding love, as well as a healthy degree of lust, for the older man. He knew he was safe with Krycek. He also knew he was beginning to feel the same for the other man, even though he wasn't sure he could trust him not to bolt after they finished having sex.

Krycek interrupted his lover's reverie with a gentle kiss to the back of Mulder's neck. "C'mere, you," he whispered lustily in Mulder's ear as he reached out with his hands to turn the man around to face him. Then, he kissed him in earnest, full on the lips, plundering the inside of Mulder's mouth with his tongue in wild abandon. Mulder responded, and their tongues dueled with each other as Alex backed him toward the bed. When they finally came up for air, they began to undress each other by mutual, if unspoken consent.

Once naked, Krycek raked his eyes over the other man's body with rampant desire, and said, "Now, I'll show you how I feel about you." With that, he gently pushed the other man down onto the bed and started to work. He started by taking the tip of Mulder's erect cock in his mouth and soaking it with saliva. Then he withdrew and started to blow very lightly on the moist skin. Upon hearing Mulder's whimpers at this, he began tickling the shaft from base to end with the tip of his tongue, occasionally nipping very gently with his lips. This treatment was having the desired effect on his lover, causing Mulder to thrash his head back and forth on the pillows and claw at the sheets with his long, slender fingers. He decided enough was enough with the torture and began licking and sucking the unbearably hard cock with a greater degree of roughness. He even scratched his teeth over the sensitive skin to drive Mulder further into the oblivion of ecstasy. Then he took Mulder as far down his throat as he could and sucked him hard, cupping and massaging his lover's balls with one hand and steadying himself with the other. Mulder screamed as he shot hot salty liquid into Alex's throat for the second time that night, while Alex sucked vigorously until he was certain he had milked the man's cock completely.

As Alex started to crawl up to join Mulder, he was shocked by the man's strength when Mulder grabbed him by the shoulders and dragged him up to his face for a kiss. Krycek let Mulder explore his mouth, as he ran his fingers through the older man's thick hair, now wet with sweat generated by his overheating orgasm. Then Mulder released Alex's lips and collapsed back on the bed. He looked down at Alex's still impossibly hard cock and said sheepishly, "Alex, that was amazing, but . . . ," he swallowed hard, "Oh, God, Alex, I . . . well, I'm not going to be able to do as well for you. You know I've never . . . ." Alex interrupted, "That's okay, baby." He reached up and stroked Mulder's hair again, noting the slight blush at the endearment he had used, "if it's okay with you, I really want something else from you right now. I want to be inside you, baby." Yes, he liked that little blush a lot. Reaching up to nibble Mulder's earlobe, he whispered, " Is it okay? I hate to rush," he chuckled, "but I need to know now." Mulder nodded in agreement, but Krycek wanted more, "No, I want to hear it from you, Fox. Tell me what you want me to do to you." Alex rubbed his erection against Mulder's hip and the agent, who was getting a hard-on of his own again, moaned, "Please, Alex, fuck me . . . oh, please, do it now. I need to feel you inside me." That did it. Alex didn't know if he would even last long enough to get inside him. Those words--ones he had wanted to hear for so long--had sent a tidal wave of desire at him that almost knocked him down. He grabbed a tube of lubricant that he had placed on the night-stand earlier and quickly spread it over his throbbing erection. Then he gently pulled Mulder up onto his knees in front him. 

Alex reached up with his left hand and stroked Mulder's back while with his right he very tenderly pushed his index finger into his lover's anus, giving him a moment to get used to the size before inserting a second finger which he gently raked over Mulder's prostate. Mulder gave an involuntary thrust backward into Alex's fingers when he touched the sensitive gland. Alex was so close to orgasm that his breathing had become ragged, but he was still so slow and tender with his ministrations. This surprised Mulder, and Alex, as if reading his mind said, leaning forward against Mulder's back, "I'm always gentle with virgins, my beautiful lover." That made Mulder's face color deeply, and Alex nuzzled his neck as he pressed his cock into the opening of Mulder's round, firm ass. He entered Mulder slowly, giving his body a chance to adjust to the formidable size of the cock entering him. When he could tell that Mulder was beginning to enjoy the feel of him, he began thrusting, relatively gently at first, until Mulder half-yelped, "Oh, God, Alex, harder, please, harder, faster!" He gratefully complied with his lover's request as he reached around and began stroking Mulder's erection in time with his thrusts. Soon, he was screaming in Mulder's ear as he came hard, spurting white hot fluid into his partner's willing body. He couldn't believe the force of his own release. Krycek had never been a screamer, but he had never wanted anyone so badly or loved anyone so much as this man. Mulder was now wracked with screams of his own as his cum spewed forth onto the sheets, and Krycek milked him with his hand until the last drop had been expelled. Then he pulled Mulder around to face him, and they fell on the bed, both out of breath and blissfully happy.

Want to know what happens next? Stay tuned for further developments in this love story.


End file.
